Leaders Are Not Always at the Front of the Line

 I stopped mid way up the stairs as I heard my name along with, “Who does she think she is, telling us how to run our classroom?". I stood silently listening for more. My heart raced as I listened for more. As I listened, I couldn’t help but to feel somewhat rebuked. I began asking myself, “Who am I?" . Even though I knew I had information, perhaps what one might call knowledge, I didn’t have the thread that would ultimately sew the pieces together. I didn’t have relationship. Back down the stairs I tiptoed. After all, I didn’t dare want anyone to know that I had heard such conversation. 

My next visit would not include my notebook or handouts. My next visit would include a smile and perhaps a sincere “How can I help you today”? Actually, most of my visits would proceed in this manner. As I would visit informally in the classrooms, with genuine curiosity to learn more about others, I was better able to find ways to connect with the staff and likewise. I learned that such an approach gave myself a better picture than any formal observation with a clipboard.  Before I knew it, trust had formed. This way of being, created a mutual trust and interest in serving children and families.

Years went on, I served in the capacity of facilitator, coach, and any other hat that seemed appropriate at the time. I never shared my secret in the stairway story. I held it in my heart, not out of hostility but out of vulnerability, humility. I never want to be the one who has all of the answers or the one who makes others feel as if they do not have the answers. I learned not only how to be a coach, leader, I learned how to truly come alongside. 

Leaders are not always at the front of the line. 

When Do I Get To Teach?

I Remember the Child So Well...

I remember the child so well. He would enter the preschool classroom almost every morning like a storm and some mornings you could even smell the storm. Other children would scatter as they knew those who remained in his way risked being pushed out of the path as he would make his way to his cubby each morning. His tense dusty face displayed hurt, often disguised as anger. Only one thing was found to help calm his upsets and calm our mornings. It was the rocking chair. I had my husband’s grandfather’s old wooden rocker in my classroom. Morning after morning, we would rock together and I would sing “Jesus Loves Me”. While rocking, the anger and hurt would seem to dissipate. We would rock until his dusty, grimace face was calm and even sometimes streaming with tears. Sometimes while rocking, I would think of the other children, wondering “when do I get to teach”. Thinking of the new big book that I just couldn’t wait to share or the pumpkin recipe I couldn’t wait to try during the morning circle time. Morning after morning, circle time was often interrupted in this way.  As days went on, our trips to the rocking chair became fewer and fewer, and some days I wasn’t needed in the rocking chair at all. This sometimes grimace faced child had learned to regulate his own emotions by going to the rocking chair to rock and calm his upsets on his own. It was then I realized in those moments that I had rocked and rocked, I had indeed been teaching. I was teaching more than that of any big book or circle time activity. The other children too had learned how to calm and self-regulate as they saw first hand an upset child who was calmed each day.

I also learned that before the needs of this child could be met, I had to find out his story, and we all have a story. He was living in very impoverished circumstances. His hurting manifested itself as anger and resentment. With no running water at home, his physical needs were not being met. As I modeled compassion and empathy for the child, the other children quickly joined in. As arrangements through a local church were made to meet the child's physical needs, his emotional needs were being attended in the classroom.

One day soon after, I heard a knock at the classroom door. As I opened the door, there stood the child’s parents, both mom and dad. They had come to personally offer thanks. Their visit came as a surprise to me as transportation wasn't easily accessible for the family. After that visit, I never saw the parents again. Time not wasted. Lessons not forgotten.

Pocket Size Treasures

     Pocket Size Treasures

    

    Just as the stains noticed on clothes at the end of the day can often paint a story illustrating the day's events such as time spent at the art easel or perhaps a fall in a mud puddle. Have you ever wondered about the story hiding inside of those pockets? What are some things you have found inside a child's pockets at the end of the day? Perhaps, small sticks, unusual shaped rocks, a lost key, a bottle cap. The list can go on and on. Thus, such treasures can end up inside pockets of the beholder. 

    These items can be referred to as "loose parts". Discovery of loose parts can be a purposeful extension of a child's natural curiosity and play.  Feeling the beads in a jewelry box, exploring all the different sized shapes of nuts and bolts inside a tool box or maybe just spending time alone breaking apart sticks and sorting accordingly on a sandy playground. Such activities sparks creativity, imagination and calming. Breaking apart, constructing, or just tinkering  promotes creativity and everything else for creating and inventing. 

    I remember as a child both of my grandmothers referred to my younger sister as a "meddler", meaning that she would seek opportunities to "pilfer", "tinker" with their belongings, especially jewelry, buttons, hair pins, scarves as these items were usually displayed in random collections on pretty trays or inside keepsake boxes. Looking back, I realize my younger sister was indeed a "tinkerer" looking for opportunities to extend her thinking and curiosity with loose parts. "Tinkers" can sometimes seem bothersome especially if they are facinated with other's belongings, as was my sister and of course the origianal "OG" Tinkerbell! 

     I recommend two resources to learn more about purposeful "Loose Parts" play for young children. Lisa Daley's book "Loose Parts Play Inspiring Play in Young Children". Her book beautifully illustrates objects which encourage creative play in young children. Fairy Dust Teaching is a web based resource that shares ideas to incorporate loose parts play, as well as resources to encourage a natural play based approach to learning which stimulates creativity and problem solving in young children. 

     Children's books with imaginative emphasis on what treasures can become from one's pocket are a fun way to extend thinking about loose parts. A somewhat silly and nononsense, "Whats in My Pocket" authored by Todd Key is one suggestion.  The titled book, "Whats in Your Pocket" authored by Heather L. Montgomery is a story of how a pocket treasure can become something beautiful.
And, remember what you may find in those pockets just might be the beginning of something beautiful!